How to Survive Going from Awesome to Awful!

by Kurt Bubna25 Oct, 2013

We pastors are a strange lot. We have been called and commissioned by God, empowered beyond our own resources, and granted the privilege of caring for His flock. And yet we still struggle with fear and insecurity. We still wrestle with our own flesh. And we will always, it seems, face the reality of rejection.

Growing up as a PK (preacher’s kid), I knew that pastors were far from perfect. I also knew that the flock sometimes bites their shepherd. I’d seen my dad deal with the hurt that a parishioner can inflict many times. In fact, for that reason, in my teens I told God, “I will do anything for you but become a preacher!”  (God just smiled!)

Many times, however, I also heard the accolades my dad received from those he had impacted. Hundreds and hundreds of people called my dad “pastor” with pride. To this day, though he has been with Jesus for nearly fourteen years, I still get an occasional email or card telling me of my dad’s influence in someone’s life.

What baffled me as a child, and frankly still amazes me as an adult, is how quickly a pastor can go from awesome to awful in the minds of some.

Every Sunday I have the honor of standing before my community of faith and proclaiming God’s Word. I love my job. I love my call. I love our people. I was made to do what I do and cannot imagine doing anything else.

But every Sunday I am keenly aware that I am being evaluated as well. Some will like me and what they hear; others will not.

Some will leave after a service and think, “How did that guy ever end up a pastor, and what in blazes is he thinking wearing jeans to church?”

Others will make a beeline for me after a service and say, “That was the best message I’ve ever heard! You’re the best pastor I’ve ever had!” And I smile, not in cynicism, but in the knowledge that we humans (and I include me in that we) are a capricious clan.

I am always grateful for the encouragement and kind words but also painfully aware of the fickleness of human nature. That very same person, who patted me on the back initially, sometimes ends up punching me in the gut weeks, months, or years later as they exit our church in a tizzy.
Rejection is hard.

Here are some things I’ve learned about this along the way:

• Guard your heart. Don’t be cynical. Don’t live in fear of rejection. Remember, Jesus too went from awesome to awful in the minds of many. He understands, so take your pain to Him when you are rejected.

• Grow through it. Without getting caught in a maze of self-doubt, ask yourself, “Is there something I need to learn through this bite?” Criticism has value if there truly is something I can discover through it. I tell our church on a regular basis, “I’m not perfect.” So what’s the point of pretending like I am? And why then would I immediately and without consideration reject criticism as if I never make a mistake? A wise imperfect person continues to grow when confronted with the opportunity to do so.

• When it’s all said and done, shake off the dust and move on. Rejection hurts. Even the most spiritually mature feel at least a twinge of pain when it happens. But getting stuck there is stupid. Reality 101: no one is perfect. Reality 102: your criticizers aren’t perfect either. Reality 103: the best thing is to grow and go—don’t spend too much time or energy worrying about what you can’t change. Sometimes we get derailed from the bigger picture by proud people who feel the need to smack us around. Don’t go to their level; keep moving forward, and stay focused on the goal.

• Speak well of the departed. This one is tough. Again, our human nature demands that we defend ourselves. We feel the need to put others in a bad light so that we look good. I really wrestle at times with a tendency to react rather than respond. Yes, there is a place for speaking the truth in love. Yes, there are times when we’ve actually done nothing to deserve the wrath we have received. And yes, sometimes we must explain or clarify something about the departed for the sake of the church. But make sure your heart and your motives are pure rather than polluted by your own pain.

• Thank God for the blessers and the biters. Of course, I’d rather be blessed than bitten, but the Word challenges me to give thanks always (1 Thess. 5:18), even when it hurts. Thanking God for the pain is an act of faith that declares, “I believe You can redeem, restore, and renew any situation and anyone fully surrendered to You.”

In one of the longest chapters in the New Testament (John 6), Jesus miraculously feeds five thousand hungry people, and as a result, they want to make Him king! Later, He walks on water and blows the minds of His disciples. But after a difficult teaching, one that ticked off a bunch of people, many disciples deserted Jesus. The very people who once thought He was AWESOME now rejected Him as awful.

Jesus felt the pain. He was God, but he was also human.
He turned to the twelve, and I am certain with angst in his voice, He asked, “Do you want to leave me too?”

Peter replied, “Lord, to whom shall we go?”
I’m sure Jesus appreciated Pete’s loyalty at the moment, but He knew that one of them was a betrayer (Judas) and that all of them would eventually flee from His side in fear.
But you know what amazes me? Jesus loved these guys anyway. He never gave up on them. He never lost focus. He never quit.

My prayer is, “God, help me to be much more like Your Son. Help me to stay the course even if that course takes me to a cross. Help me to love even when I am not loved, and to forgive as I have been forgiven. Help me to remember, it never has been and never will be about me.”

Shepherds: Who Need One?

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October 17, 2013

"Shepherd:  Who Needs One!"

Scripture Reading:
Isaiah 40:11   (HCSBO) "He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart."

Devotional Reading:

If you grew up in the city, you probably have no idea what danger a sheep faces every day. It has no defensive skills and no sense of direction. It doesn't know the difference between a dangerous river and a gentle stream. It's just driven by its thirst. That's why it needs a shepherd - and why you need one too. You need a shepherd to:

(1) Protect you! Jesus warned us, "The man who does not enter… by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief"   Notice the words "some other way." Certain people will try to get to you through 'the back door', because they have their own agenda. Some will even come through the Internet, like the pedophile and the pornographer. (It's well named, 'The Web!') What's the answer? Keep your eyes on the Shepherd.

(2) Feed you! What you eat determines your health, your strength and whether you live long enough to fulfill your destiny. Sheep don't know the difference between poisonous weeds (like, chichicaste) and healthy pasture, because they look alike. Listen, "Beware of false prophets… they are devouring wolves" .  Some will sell you dates for The Rapture; others, formulas for getting rich quick. Watch what you eat!  They will mislead you through false teachings & faith healers A hundred year's ago Australia had millions of wolves and thousands of sheep. Today they've millions of sheep and thousands of wolves. Why? Because the sheep learned to stay close to the shepherd. And you must too!

Keep the Son in your eyes,
Pastor Ben J Lahay

Galatians 2:20

Comfort Zone Faith

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October 16, 2013

"Comfort Zone Faith"

Scripture Reading:
Mark 2:1  (HCSB) "When He entered Capernaum again after some days, it was reported that He was at home."

Devotional Reading:

If you're looking for a nice quiet God who won't disrupt your life, forget about Jesus!  When He comes, He'll stir up your business… your marriage… your finances… because He's a functioning, moving, teaching, touching, powerful God, who won't sit in the corner like an ornament!  In Scripture, people opened their homes for Jesus to come and preach. Maybe they thought, "We'll put out a few extra chairs… it'll be nice to hear a good sermon… we could use some prayer." Are you kidding? When word got out, the people came from everywhere! Talk about the power of advertising!  He filled the house without a TV ministry, a tape, a brochure or a mailing list.  It got so crazy that four men carrying a sick friend on a stretcher couldn't get in, so they raised the roof and lowered him down to Jesus. That's what we need in the church today - people who know how to 'raise the roof' with their prayers, their praises and their preaching, and bring down the power of God. When you let Jesus into any area of your life, He'll ask you to give what you can't give, do what you can't do and be what you can't be. He'll rearrange everything. That's because you've been… in the same place… the same rut… giving the same testimony… for too long!  Today God wants to take you out of your comfort zone. He wants to stretch you by calling you to do more than you've ever done before. Are you ready to say "yes?"

Keep the Son in your eyes,
Pastor Ben J Lahay

Galatians 2:20

Appreciate Your Pastor

Appreciate Your Pastor

By Thabiti Anyabwile

This past Lord's Day, I had the privilege of preaching 1 Timothy 5:17-20.  "The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.  For the Scripture says, 'Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain,' and 'The worker deserves his wages.'  Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.  Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning."

It was an honor to preach this passage to a congregation that has been full of love, support, and encouragement to me and my family these past five years.  There was great liberty in unfolding text without fear of being misunderstood, without need of rebuking the people, and withut having to fight against an impulse to complain or to pander because we've been treated with "double honor" since arriving.  What a blessing!

But if I am to believe some of the survey statistics published on pastors and their view towards the ministry, the vast majority of my fellow pastors do not feel this way and are not receiving proper care from their people.  Consider these figures compiled by the Schaeffer Institute:

Hours and Pay

• 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
• 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
• 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

Training and Preparedness

• 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
• 90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they
  thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.

Health and Well-Being

• 70% of pastors constantly fight depression.
• 50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if
  they could, but have no other way of making a living.

Marriage and Family

• 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families.
• 80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked.
• 80% spouses feel left out and under-appreciated by church members.

Church Relationships

• 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
• 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
• #1 reason pastors leave the ministry — Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastors believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.

Longevity

• 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
• 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
• 4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.
• Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
• Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month, many without cause.
• Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.

That’s a sad and alarming picture, isn’t it?  Work long hours in a job with too many demands for too little pay. Many have the wrong skills and the wrong expectations. Families being pressured and battered.  Pastors are discouraged and depressed. No friends, serious conflict once a month, and people who will not follow.  Is it no wonder so many quit so soon?  

According to one survey, only 23% of pastors report being happy and content in their identity in Christ, in their church, and in their home. 

I suspect, however, that men in these situations might be crippled all the more were they to faithfully preach a text like 1 Tim. 5:17-20.  They would be seen as self-serving and courting with more hostility and dissatisfaction from a people already running afoul of God's call to churches to honor faithful servants.

So, I'm hopeful at least some of God's people would consider these statistics, reflect upon their church's treatment of their pastors, and perhaps lead a conspiracy to make sure faithful elders receive "double honor" from those they teach and lead.  Let's face it: we can't get survey statistics like these unless it has become an unchecked commonplace among congregations to gossip and gripe rather than to breathe grace toward church leaders.  These statistics indicate a pandemic culture of disregard and dishonor aimed at pastors.  That's to the church's shame.

I'm praying that Hebrews 13:17--rather than rejected as giving too much authority to leaders--might be embraced by individual members and congregations as one means to growth in Christ and deeper joy as the family of God.  "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you."

Gem of Grace

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Always Fresh,

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October 15, 2013

"A Gem of Grace"

Scripture Reading:Ephesians 2:8-9  (HCSBO) For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift--not from works, so that no one can boast.

Devotional Reading:

Maybe it is just me, but I just don’t see us singing about this most incredible gift of grace as much anymore. It is unfortunate as a proper understanding and realization of grace is essential to having a fulfilled Christian life.  What is grace? First, grace is not mercy. Mercy is an act of being spared from judgment. Mercy is not getting what you do deserve. Grace, on the other hand, is the freely given and unmerited favor and love of God. In a nutshell, grace is getting what you do not deserve. The best example of God’s grace is the gift of salvation, eternal life. We don’t deserve it, but he gives it to us freely. Through His death on the cross, Jesus ushered in a new era that was no longer about merely keeping a set of rules and “doing” things that made you good enough for but rather it was about receiving grace; accepting the forgiveness offered and beginning a new relationship with Him.  The best part is it is free. Jesus paid the ultimate price of death, on the cross, so that you didn’t have to. Even more than that, He paid the price and freely gives grace so that no one can ever boast or brag that they have done enough good to somehow earn their salvation. It is truly a gift and one only He can give. You can’t earn it because it is a gift, freely given. You can’t somehow buy it because the price has already been paid. If you want it, you must receive it. To receive it, you must place your faith and trust in Christ. Getting what you don’t deserve is normally thought of us a bad thing; with grace it’s a great thing.

Grace, like the old hymn says, is truly amazing. It can be one of, if not the most liberating thing you can ever experience. You don’t have to worry about being good enough, measuring up, or doing enough to earn your way into heaven. The truth is, none of us are good enough, none of us can ever hope to measure up to God’s standard, and none of us can ever do enough good things to earn our way into heaven on our own. Grace says that is ok, quit trying so hard and just accept the gift. Grace negates our imperfections and our pasts. Grace says that anyone can receive the gift of salvation because your past no longer matters. Grace frees us from thinking we are beyond help and beyond hope. You may not deserve grace, but you get it anyway. We must be careful not to cheapen this grace, however. Grace is not a license to do and live as we please. It might be a free gift but it most certainly cost the Giver. We should reflect this grace by living a life that honors the gift and the price paid.  Thank God for grace. Thank God you got what you don’t deserve.

Keep the Son in your eyes,
Pastor Ben J Lahay

Galatians 2:20

Excel in Faith

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October 10, 2013

"Excel in Faith"

Scripture Reading:
2 Corinthians 8:7  (HCSB) Now as you excel in everything-- faith, speech, knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love for us-- excel also in this grace.

Devotional Reading:

There’s an old story told about a seamstress in 19th century France who happened to be blind. One day her church was trying to raise some money for a mission and she handed over 20 francs. In those days that was a lot of money and her seamstress friends around her wondered how she could give so much to the church.  “What does it cost you,” she asked them, “to pay for kerosene to light your lamps, so that you can work at night?”  “About 20 francs a year,” they replied.  “Therefore, because I am blind,” the seamstress explained, “the Lord saves me 20 francs per year. I want to give it back to Him, so that this mission can bring the light of the Gospel to other lands.”

It’s a beautiful story and a reminder that even in these trying financial times, the Lord’s work carries on throughout the world. As we each try to budget because of high gas prices and the soaring cost of food, let’s not forget the blessings that God sustains us with each day. Even in the midst of an economic recession, God never holds back or diminishes His blessings to us. So let us all take this lesson to heart and make an intentional effort to excel in this grace of giving, even in these trying times.  Lord God, if we take time to really look for them, we will discover wonderful blessings in each of our lives. We take so many of them for granted that we forget to truly thank You for all that You do for us. Thank You for Your loving kindness, grace, and love. In Jesus’ Name, we pray.  As we pray, let us pray for Timon & Amber and the family as we prepare to present them to our church family to be our Associate and lead our youth and families...  We must remember to walk by FAITH and not by sight.

Keep the Son in your eyes,
Pastor Ben J Lahay

Galatians 2:20

Make Mistakes

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August 29, 2013

"We All Make Mistakes"

Scripture Reading:    

2 Corinthians 13:11 (HCSBO) Finally my brothers, goodby, aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of good mind, live in peace.  And the God of love and peace will be with you.

 

Devotion And Meditation:

Paul's letter written to the church at Corinth, is applicable to all of us today.  Notice the passage says "aim for perfection".  This affirms that we will not achieve perfection.  Aiming is a goal, even if we fall short of perfection, we should still be doing an excellent and admirable job.  There are a lot of "perfectionistic" people in the world today.  Marriages are torn apart by one or the other partner having perfectionistic standards.  Their standards are set so high that no one, even themselves cannot achieve.  Sadly they feel that they are perfect, in reality, they fall short just like all of us.  This self-competence and need to be in control of all circumstances eventually consumes them (and others), until burnout sets in, or the relationship is destroyed.  Striving for perfection is a goal, as God expects excellent servitude, but also know that God understands and is compassionate when you've done your best.  Do your best in all things.  If you let the Lord be in control, rather than ourselves, you will do no wrong! 

                                  

 Win or lose, I want to make sure that I make God's name great

Pastor Ben J Lahay 
Galatians 2:20